Monday, November 23, 2009

Thanking those that read...

Thank you to those such as Alyssa who comment and let this slave know that she isn't alone.
This has been such a difficult time for her and yet she feels like such a wuss and she tries to be strong. The end is drawing closer and though it's torture at the moment, so slow and agonizing. This slave will be sure to update everyone with the fun, steamy and painfully delicious stories when Master arrives! (or a few days after :) )

Then she will catch up on all the blogs that she likes and has been neglecting because they were too hard to read in this lonely time *embarrassed smile*


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

An end in sight

slave's weekend job has turned into a full time one. Which is nice, now she doesn't have to worry about finding another.
slave has been learning how to bar tend the past week and is enjoying it. Already she has taken the classes that she needs for bar tending and food service and has the cards that she needs. Once she gets the bar down the bosses are going to train her on the restaurant side so that she knows all the jobs in case she has to cover a shift.

Even better news, Master is talking about flying up around the first! *happy dance* oh slave is so excited! He was going to drive but, now you need a passport to go into Canada and He doesn't have one yet. So Master will have to fly back in a few months once W/we have a place and drive His truck up.

There is an end in sight and slave cannot wait.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dragging on

slave found a weekend job, now all that she has to do is find another one for the week. This seems to be taking forever trying to get Master up here...

The past few days slave has been so off. It must sound silly to all of those who are strong enough to be away from their Masters or slaves for long periods of time but, slave is used to being around Master all the time. slave usually spends all her time with Him, and T/they have even worked together for almost 2 years now.

slave feels wrong, part of her is missing and she is but a hollow version of herself with a smile like a mask upon her face. she cant even enjoy the fact that she is finally back in Alaska because the rest of her isn't here. Though the time that slave gets to spend with her family here is nice and they have had some fun, it's just been a quick distraction here and there.

It is taking all of slaves discipline to keep a semi hopeful attitude when all that she wants to do is just lay down and cry...
Reminding herself over and over that the better she does the faster this ends, and the few times that she gets to hear Masters voice keep her struggling on.

Missing You Master...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Lost on autopilot

slave feels so lost. Friday will be a week that she has been away from Master, and she's VERY far away. Alaska couldn’t be much further from Him. Once slave has found a job Master will be up here to get a job as well, but it’s already taking too long....

Everything feels surreal, like she should have woken up in Masters arms already but the dream keeps dragging on relentlessly. Doing everything that she can and yet she feels like there MUST be something else that slave can be doing better, she is very anxious that she is missing something. Whenever she runs out of papers to fill out or people to call and has a lull in her progress, slave does her everyday tasks on autopilot. Feed Masters property, wash the dirty laundry so she has clothes to wear, tidy up the kitchen to help out, clean up any messes that slave makes as she goes, take out dinner...

Then her day brightens when she gets to do the workout that Master had written for her, she is no longer anxious or... kinda lost. Master has given her a task in His absence and she knows where she is supposed to be and what she is to be doing.
Then, feeling a bit less strained, slave returns to searching for a job.

After five the family arrives home to a warm dinner and slave enjoys finally getting to spend some time with them. Talking and staying occupied also helps her.

Later Master calls and it is the highlight of her day. slave gets to hear His voice as He talks about His day and how He had to search for this or that. *Awwww Master misses her*
Then slave tells Him what she did for the day and, when T/they are finished and listening to each other breath Master softly tells slave that He misses her. slaves heart overflows all bittersweet and she replies that she misses Him too, though her throat is so tight she can barely speak.

Simply put, This sucks!

slave is very greatful to have this oppertunity to serve Master it's just the being away from Him part thats so awful. Hopefully that will end for good soon.

As the day draws to an end, slave tries not to think about being here alone. Then she takes out the piece of paper with Masters handwritten notes for her nighttime ritual. Then things don't seem quite so bad.